What They Don't Know, Can Hurt Them
by Pervingly
Summary: Carlos is in love with Kendall,  and Kendall him, but neither knows the other feels the same way.  Carlos and Kendall prove that the saying 'What they don't know won't hurt them' false.  Rated M for: Self Harm, and Attempted Suicide. Kenlos. Oneshot.


**A/N Hey everyone. So seeing as how people liked my oneshot 'Boyfriend' and the pairing, I figured I would write another one. Hope you like it.**

**Warning: Self Harm, Attempted Suicide, Slash!**

**(I don't condone doing ANYTHING in this story, such as: Suicide, or any other type of self harm.)**

**On with the story!**

Carlos' P.O.V.

"Hey Carlos, you wanna come to the movies with me, James, and Logan? Mom took Katie to another commercial audition today." Kendall asked/said, coming into our room. When he spoke, I could feel my heart beating faster and my stomach doing flips.

"No, I'm tired. I think I'm just gonna lay down and go to sleep." I said, trying to keep the stuttering out of my voice.

"Okay, see you later." He said and walked out. I heard the front door slam and got up fast. I had to do this before they got back. I went into the kitchen and found the stash of vodka I kept hidden. Don't ask how I even got this. I went to the medicine drawer and got out the Asprin. You might be wondering why I am getting these things. Well, it's quite simple actually. I can't handle it anymore. The pain. So I am going to end it. End my life.

You might also be wondering what pain I am talking about. Well, I am talking about the pain of knowing that the love of your life will never love you back. Of knowing that everywhere you go, you bring nothing but chaos, just 'cause you are trying to have some fun and impress the previously mentioned love of your life.

So now, here I stand in the bathroom writing two goodbye letters. One for everyone and the other for Kendall.

_Dear James, Logan, Katie, and Mrs. Knight,_

_By the time you read this, you would have found my dead body. I am sorry, but I just couldn't deal with the pain that I was going through everyday. I just wanted to tell you all one thing that I kept from everyone fearing that you would all hate me. But now I don't have to worry about you hating me so here it goes. I'm gay and was in love with a guy that I knew would never love me back. I love you all._

_Carlos Garcia._

_Dear Kendall,_

_By the time you read this, everyone would have found my dead body. I am sorry, but I couldn't deal with the pain that I was going through everyday. I just wanted to tell you one thing. I wrote basically the same to the others, but left something out. I didn't tell anyone this until now, fearing that everyone would hate me. That you would hate me. But now, it doesn't matter if you do hate me because I won't have to deal with the pain of it. So, here it goes. I'm gay. And I am in love with you. And I couldn't deal with the pain of knowing that you would hate me if you ever found out and the pain of you not loving me. So I am hoping that you didn't stop reading. So I am leaving you with this final goodbye. I love you, and I hope that you have a happy life._

_Carlos Garcia._

I was crying by the end. I put them on the counter top in the bathroom. I had done this all in about 10 minutes. I took a razor and started cutting at my arm. I now had 4 new cuts on my left arm, and 5 old ones on the left arm. I also had 5 old ones on my right arm. I felt the warm red liquid running down my arm. I took the bottle of Asprin and took 10 and started drinking the vodka. Death and no more pain, here I come.

My vision started going blurry and I fell to the floor, my empty vodka glass breaking. As I fell to the floor, I heard a scream. I recognized it as Kendall's. I could faintly hear him on the phone with 911. And then it all went black.

Kendall's P.O.V.

"Hey Carlos, you wanna come to the movies with me, James, and Logan? Mom took Katie to another commercial audition." I asked Carlos. I loved him so much, but I would never tell him or anyone that. He would hate me and would never talk to me again and having him just as a friend is better than not having him at all. And after all there is the saying: What they don't know won't hurt 'em.

"No, I'm kinda tired. I think I'm just gonna lay down and go to sleep." He said. I felt my heart start to speed up and my stomach get butterflies when he spoke.

"Okay, see ya later." I said and walked out the door and ran to catch up with the others. About 10 minutes later, I realized that I had left my phone at home. "Hey guys, I gotta go back to the apartment. I left my phone somewhere in there. I'll be right back." I said. They nodded and I ran up to the apartment. When I got to the apartment, I started looking around in the living room. I couldn't find it. And then I remembered that I had left it in the bathroom, so I went in there. I was not prepared for what I saw though.

I saw the love of my life laying there on the floor with a bottle of Asprin next to him and a broken bottle of what looked like vodka. I looked around frantically for my phone. I found it next to two letters. 'Oh I'll read those later.' I thought to myself. I dialed 911 quickly.

"911, what's your emergency?" The operator answered.

"Yes, I need an ambulance at the PalmWoods apartment 2J and fast. I just walked into the bathroom and saw my friend on the floor with a bottle of Asprin and what looks like a broken bottle of vodka. He's unconscious." I said REALLY fast.

"Okay, an ambulance is on its way." She said.

"Thank you." I said and hung up. I went and rolled Carlos over and put his head on my lap. I saw that he also had cuts on his arms. Oh Carlos, what have you done? I then remembered that the others were waiting for me so I got up and got my phone and called Logan.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Logan! Get James and come up here NOW! It's Carlos! I called an ambulance, but get up here." I said urgently.

"We're on our way. And the paramedics just got here." He said.

"Okay." I said and hung up. Right after I hung up, I heard the paramedics come in, followed by James and Logan. The paramedics put him on the stretcher and carried him out. "Can I ride with him?" I asked one of the women. She looked at the other paramedic and he nodded. I grabbed the letters that were on the counter and put them in my pocket to read later. One had my name on it, the other had the others names on it.

"Sure." I walked with them.

"One of you call my mom." I told James and Logan. They nodded and I got in the ambulance with Carlos. When we got to the hospital, the paramedics explained what I had told them and the doctor immediately took him to ICU. About 10 minutes later, my mom got here. Wow, either the audition was over when they called, it was really close to the hospital, or mom was speeding. I think I am going to go with choice number 3. I explained what happened for the 3rd time.

I handed mom her letter and started reading mine. I couldn't believe it. He felt the same way. It was all my fault he did this. All my fault that he was in the hospital. All my fault that he was so close to death. It was all my fault. I can't believe he thought that I would hate him if he told me. I heard my mom gasp when she read hers. She passed it on to James who after reading it passed it to Logan who passed it to Katie one he was done. Right at the moment that Katie put the piece of paper down, the doctor came out.

"Garcia, Carlos?" He read off of his clip board. We all stood up. "Are you his guardian?" He asked mom.

"Yes." She said.

"All right well, Carlos is stable right now. When we got him back there, he had a seizure. We were able to stabilize him. However, he was very close to death. If it wasn't for you calling right when you did, he would be dead." He said pointing at me at the end. I sighed a breath of relief. "He should regain consciousness soon. You may go in 1 at a time." He said. We nodded.

"You should go first sweetie." She said to me. My mom was the only one that knew that I was gay and that I was in love with Carlos. I nodded and followed the doctor. When I saw Carlos on his bed with tubes and everything hooked up to him, I couldn't stop the tears that fell from my eyes. I sat down next to his bed and took his hand in mine.

"I love you to." I whispered to him, not knowing if he could hear me or not. I put my head down on the bed and closed my eyes. What felt like hours, but was probably only 20 minutes, I felt my hand being squeezed. My head snapped up and I smiled at what I saw. Carlos was sitting up in his bed AWAKE.

"Why am I alive? I should be dead." That brought a frown to my face.

"Because I found you right when you fell to the ground and I called 911 and they brought you to the hospital." I said.

"Why? It would've been better for everyone if I had died." He said. That made my heart break.

"No it wouldn't have." I whispered just loud enough for him to hear.

"Didn't you read the letter I left for you guys?" He asked.

"Yes, why?" I asked, confused.

"Then you read what I said. I can't take it anymore. I don't want to be alive. I don't have a reason to be alive. I'm useless. All I do is bring chaos everywhere I go. Wait a minute, why are you even here? You should be wanting to be as far away from me as possible. You should hate me. No, worse than that, you should despise me." He finished his little rant. The fact that he thought that I would hate him, or worse, _despise_ him, broke my heart even more than it already was. And I can't believe he would think any of that. Especially that he thought that he was useless.

"First of all, I could NEVER hate you. Why would you think that I would hate you?" I asked although I am pretty sure what he would say.

"Because I told you that I love you?" He said, but it came out more of a question.

"And..? I don't hate you. You're too loveable for anyone to hate you." I said. He blushed. "Secondly, you are NOT useless. You are the adventurous one in our group. If you weren't here, it would be boring. Yes, you do bring chaos. But it's good chaos. And everyone loves it. Everyone loves you. _I love you_." **(Oh my god, I'm turning it into a soap opera! *GASP!* :D)** I whispered the last part to myself. But I guess he heard it, 'cause his head snapped up in my direction.

"What?" He asked with a shocked and hopeful look on his face. I smiled. I guess there's no way or reason to lie about what I just said.

"I said that I love you." I said. He looked as if he was searching my eyes to see if I was lying. When he found that I was telling the truth, he kissed me passionately on the lips. I kissed him back with just as much passion. I slipped my tongue past his lips and mapped out his mouth. We continued like that until we needed air.

"Say it again." He said, with a dazed smile. I chuckled.

"I love you Carlos Garcia." I said, smiling down at him. He smiled right back.

"I love you to." He said.

That saying is completely false. What someone doesn't know, can hurt them. It almost killed the love of my life.

**A/N Okay, so I decided to rewrite the ending a little bit because I got a review saying that I rushed the ending a little. Therefore, I would like to thank The Doctor is Out for being my first reviewer. I hope you like this ending a little more.**

**~SamUleys-wolf-gurl**


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